Saturday, June 30, 2012

When Everything Feels Lost

How do you possibly express what you think and feel watching the city you call home burn...
It's less than unfathomable. 1 week ago today, a fire broke out near my beloved city. Within days, over 32,000 people had been evacuated from the area, over 15,000 acres burned, record breaking temperatures of over 100 degrees daily scorched the city.
Now, with the fire a little over 17,000 acres and 25% contained, 346 homes destroyed, 2 confirmed dead, thousands still displaced, I sit here and ache with those I know who have lost everything physical. Things I take for granted every day. Clothing. A place to sleep. A shower.
Whoever you are and whenever you read this, I ask that you please remember to pray for those affected by the Waldo Canyon fire. As this week has progressed, I have watched one of my worst nightmares turn into a reality. I have watched places full of history become dust. I have watched everything from panic as people flee in under a minute to the extreme outpouring of generosity of those who live in the Springs. I have watched something that looks extremely apocalyptic engulf parts of the city.


As I watch something so horrific, I find small nuggets to be extremely grateful for. A home here and there spared, lives (in general) being spared, small amounts of rain, calming winds, slightly cooler temperatures. It all sounds so trivial. But I promise that in the midst of so much loss, you find the things you can to be grateful for. I know that in the midst of this, that God continues to be true and good and faithful. I don't understand the reasons for what's going on. I don't have to. But I do trust my Father. I trust him with those who have nothing left, with those who have lost loved ones. In the midst of heartache, loss, and grief, I am continually reminded not to listen to the panic that wants to rise up inside of me but to instead be still and know that He is God and He is faithful.

This link shows a time lapse from Saturday, 23 June (the day the fire started) through Thursday, 28 June for those that want to understand and see just a small glimpse of what the city has gone through. Major landmarks have been lost or threatened. The Flying W Ranch was one of the first areas in the Springs to burn to the ground. The United States Air Force Academy has been threatened by the fire and Garden of the Gods has been shut down since the fire began.

I write not so much for my own sake, though it has been a good place for me to start sorting through a myriad of emotions, but for the purpose to inform you, my reader. Please continue to pray for my city, for this state. By Tuesday of this last week, there were 6 major fires in Colorado alone, including the Waldo Canyon fire (Colorado Springs), the Flagstaff fire (extremely close to Boulder-mostly contained and no longer threatening homes), and the High Park fire (near Fort Collins-becoming more contained; largest of all of the Colorado fires). Pray for rain. But more than that please pray for God to have mercy and that our state would run to our Father in meekness and repentance. 

Friday, June 22, 2012

The Keeper of My Heart

It's been a while since I've written now. Most of that has to do with the end of a school semester and all of that.
The last week and a half has been one of the most trying I've ever experienced. Last week I was informed of several very grave situations involving people I know and love. For their sake, I won't post the details here. It was very tiring to say the least. So many things to pray about and weighing heavily on my heart...including a conversation with an acquaintance that I had answering his questions about faith. That conversation broke my heart to hear how hopeless and pointless his life is and he doesn't care.
At the end of the week, I had a conversation with the guy who was in my life at that point. He decided to end things due to the distance between us. Of course that was a rough weekend. And it's fine to have all of the emotions that go with all that was going on in my life. Then Monday morning rolled around and on my way to work, a car hit me and the accident was pretty much a hit and run. Thank God that it was minor and we were both okay and so were the vehicles for the most part.
Needless to say, Monday I hit my breaking point. I was literally leaning on God all weekend for strength. And then the accident happened. My mom sent me a song by Kari Jobe called "Steady My Heart" and it was exactly what God was speaking to me.
Thanks to my loving and gracious Father, this week has been unexplainably good. Not easy, but I can feel my Father's presence and His overwhelming love and peace. When I think about the situations that I have been struggling with over the past while, it all pales in comparison to who He is and what He's done and continues to do. I cannot praise Him enough for who He is. And people wonder how I can possibly believe something that sounds so "crazy" and "radical." As I have told them, I see God working in my life every day and my Father is so good and protective and loving.

"But as for me, I will sing about Your power. Each morning I will sing with joy about Your unfailing love. For You have been my refuge, a place of safety when I am in distress. O my Strength, to You I sing praises, for You, O God, are my refuge, the God who shows me unfailing love." -Psalm 59:16-17