My SHIFT Retreat

So this weekend was one of the most interesting and out of control weekends of my entire life. That is no hyperbole, either. It was literally 100% out of my control.

Several weeks ago, some friends and I decided to volunteer for work crew on our church's upcoming SHIFT retreat for middle and high school students. So this weekend, we packed up and got on the buses to head to Buena Vista on Friday evening. One of the buses had mechanical issues, causing my ride to be 5 hours, and another group of students didn't arrive until 11:00pm. It was a rough way to start the weekend, but I let it go and moved on.

Saturday we got to serve the meals and clean pretty much all day. It was absolutely exhausting, but fun and such an amazing experience. We were supposed to leave the camp on Sunday, but a massive snow storm moved through the Buena Vista  Denver areas, making it incredibly dangerous to leave. So we prepared for another night at the camp.

When I initially found out about having to stay another night, I immediately started stressing out about school. I had so much homework to get done before Monday, and assignments to get handed in. On top of that, Satan used that stress as an inlet to start throwing everything I'd been struggling with last week at me. I was so grateful for a friend that was able to sit down and pray with me and just see God calm my heart immediately. I was able to get extensions on homework and the stress began to dissipate.

God showed me so much this weekend, and very little of it would've happened if we hadn't been forced to stay an extra 24ish hours. He taught me to trust him. The storm was no surprise for him. I was able to focus on whatever got put in front of me to do and not about what tomorrow would bring. "Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious about itself." -Matthew 6:34

I was so grateful for my college group's teaching last week for one specific reminder: "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." -Colossians 3:23 This reminder gave me such a peace, joy, and comfort to continue throughout the extended weekend, the exhaustion, the fears...

As God showed me all of these things on Sunday, very little was an instantaneous fix, but I could hear my Father saying "Just trust me." I had to constantly lay things before the cross and fight the urge to be anxious. But I was so grateful for his guidance and to have the opportunity to pass this encouragement on to two of my dear friends and sisters in Christ.

I cannot express how awful it is to see all of my plans that I've so carefully laid out get completely ripped out of my control. But in some ways, I almost wonder if God planned that storm just for me to learn how not in control I am and how in control he is.

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your hand and says, Do not fear; I will help you." -Isaiah 41:13

The Art of Waiting

Have you ever had something, no matter how big or small, that is a part of you? It's something you would never compromise on. You just...believe it?

For me, I know exactly what that thing is. (I'm sure there are many, but one sits at the forefront of my mind right now.) You see my church has been going through a relationship series, and a huge part of what has been talked about is sex. Inside the context of marriage, the way God designed it to be, it is beautiful and can be an act of worship. That's something you don't here very often, especially inside the church. On the flip-side of that though, sex outside of marriage is never what God intended. It ties 2 people together in a way that only husband and wife were intended to be.

My goal in writing this particular post is not to get into all the nitty-gritty details of all of that. I don't even particularly care if you completely disagree with me, because I know what the Bible says about sexual immorality (Song of Solomon, 1 Corinthians 6:13-20, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, Hebrews 13:4, Ephesians 5:5). If this is an area you are struggling in or have dealt with, please look further into this and know that that is between you and God.

The entire reason for writing right now is this. I have met several other Christian young ladies who say that they believe how I believe, in abstaining for sexual acts until marriage. As I implied above, this is something that I do not ever want to waver in. And I'm extremely grateful for the support of my 2 best friends in this matter. But some of those who have made the same claims here at school (and have been some of my closest friends at some point) were women I thought would stand with me. I thought we would support each other, rely on each other, and be a point of accountability to each other...and instead, I watch that slowly fade away.

I had a conversation with my mother yesterday, expressing how it feels like out of my friends here at school, I'm standing alone in this matter. What goes on in their lives is between them and God. I do not wish to express judgement towards them, mostly just the fact that I feel somewhat betrayed. I pray for them, but as Paul expresses, everything else is outside the body. You can't undo anything, but there are physical ramifications from sexual immorality, and I feel as though that has separated me from those who I at some point considered my closest friends.

It doesn't make me second guess my own choices, but it does sadden me. I miss having people to partner with...That's pretty much all I had. Just a flow of emotions both for myself and my friends.