Wow, it's been a little while since I've written. And for a while, that's because I was still in the same place...and I honestly had no idea how to get out of that place. I knew what I was spiritually needing to be, but not how to physically get there.
I'll be honest with you here...I still can't define a step by step process of what I physically have been doing that's been different. But my everyday walk is so different. And it's incredible.
This past weekend, I went on my college/20 something's retreat and it was called "Be Glorified." It was all about how we were created to bring God glory. I learned so much at the retreat, but it wasn't an emotional high coming down from the retreat...in fact, the retreat was almost the opposite for me. Yes it was refreshing, but it was very humbling and convicting as well. In the midst of living out this life for God's glory is the core desire to not do my will, but His. John says it this way:
"I carry out the will of him who sent me, not my own will." -John 5:30
And in Peter, it says:
"This is the will of God, that your honorable lives may speak to those who would rise against you." -1 Peter 2:15
And again in Matthew:
"Turn from your selfish ways and take up your cross and follow me." -Matthew 16:4
Honorable life. His will. His way. When I look back at my life, I want to see that it was for the glory of God. I want to be his hands, his feet, his mouth. I want to have taken the road less traveled...not so that I can say "Look at me" or anything...but just to glorify the Father. I want to look back and see that I have been sold out for God in my daily words and actions. I saw someone write this a few weeks ago, "I want to preach the gospel at all times, and only use words when necessary." What an incredible thought and prayer.
God is teaching me that in the midst of going through this refining process, there will be suffering. Not that I have a bad life, but that is promised to us. And that idea has been brought to me 50+ times from various sources, scriptural readings, teachings, etc. in the past couple of weeks. But guess what? It's a refining fire!! Fires hurt! And that's okay. You see, God is right there with us in the midst of our sufferings, trials, temptations...all of it.
I have this image burned in my mind...I see this narrow gravel path to my left with a few trees and very little grass. The wider road to my right is covered with a canopy of trees and is very shady. But I'm not called to go through the comfortable, wide path. I am called to be sanctified and take the narrower path. At the end of this path, I see God the Father waiting for me with open arms. Inside of me, I take the Holy Spirit to guide me. And running next to me is the One who has already finished this road...Jesus Christ. The one who completed it with full humility.
"Jesus didn't consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied himself. And being found in human form he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death-even death on a cross." -Philippians 2:6-8
Anyway, I am going through quite the learning process, but there is so much joy in the midst of it. I'm pursuing God with all that I am and praying for wisdom and for answers to some big prayers. I've already seen God answer in some big ways, and I am so grateful to him for his patience, grace, love, and his refining process.
"Cause all you are is all I want, always. Draw me close in your arms, Oh God. I wanna be with you." Always Hillsong
Friday, October 5, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
True Faith
Any of us who are Christians probably use the terms "believing in God" or "trusting God" or "having faith" on at least a semi-regular basis. But how often do we live that way? When I look at Biblical standards of what having true faith is, I don't see any person being perfect at it except Jesus. But I definitely see many other Biblical models, old and new testament.
In Daniel 3:14-20, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were about to get tossed into a furnace as a form of public execution for not bowing down to a false God. You know what they told the king who was about to have them murdered? "...We have no need to answer you in this manner. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if not, be it known to you O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up" (vs 16-18). Okay, did you catch that? They are about to burn to death and they say "My God can do anything and I believe he can do this miracle. But even if He chooses not to, I will trust Him anyway." They knew that he loved them and that his heart is good. Do we really trust that?
There's another passage in Hebrews that we commonly call refer to as describing the "heroes of faith." But Hebrews 11 also tells us exactly what faith is. "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things visible" (vs 1-3).
Psalm 37:3-4 tells us "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
So there are several things that go all together with this thing we call faith. You either trust God and who he is and what he's promised and obey him, or you don't. Especially after walking away or struggling with doubt, trusting God is a daily and even moment by moment decision.
"Since we have a great high Priest who has entered heaven, let us hold firmly to what we believe." -Hebrews 4:14 (Read versus 15&16 as well.)
Do you trust God when it doesn't make any sense to? What has God told you to do that you are refusing to obey in? Where are you not trusting God? For me, I had an eye-opening moment earlier. There was a moment in today's sermon where someone said "It doesn't matter how much hurt you've been through. Don't harden your heart." That hit me like a nail driven through my heart. I did that. I hadn't even realized...
Let me give you a little something more than that. My church is currently going through a series called "Before I Die" and today was about (go figure) trusting God. There were these huge chalk boards in the courtyard that they encouraged us to write down what God was telling us to trust him with on, so that the staff could specifically pray over those things. I wrote down things that I would never want to admit to anyone. Not ever. But in faith, I put them on the boards and I'm going to tell you now. I want to dream. To have dreams...not goals, but dreams of things I want to be able to be and do before I die. I currently have absolutely nothing I want to do or to be besides God's hands and feet. I don't have a career in mind or desperately want a family or anything else. And talking with my dear roommate tonight, I realized that a large part of that comes from not trusting that God will follow through on what he promised. (And if you follow my posts at all, you probably are thinking "Doesn't she have an entire post about that?" The answer is yes. I'm far from perfect, dear reader. And I'm walking through a huge stretching/growing process that I feel is incredibly long.) But I don't want to stay there. And I'm not. As I said, it's something I haven't wanted to admit, but that has been growing in me for quite some time.
I wish I had some happy anecdote to end with today, but I don't. I'm in the process of learning how to really trust God and to learn what true faith looks like. I hope you're able to do the same.
In Daniel 3:14-20, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were about to get tossed into a furnace as a form of public execution for not bowing down to a false God. You know what they told the king who was about to have them murdered? "...We have no need to answer you in this manner. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if not, be it known to you O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up" (vs 16-18). Okay, did you catch that? They are about to burn to death and they say "My God can do anything and I believe he can do this miracle. But even if He chooses not to, I will trust Him anyway." They knew that he loved them and that his heart is good. Do we really trust that?
There's another passage in Hebrews that we commonly call refer to as describing the "heroes of faith." But Hebrews 11 also tells us exactly what faith is. "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things visible" (vs 1-3).
Psalm 37:3-4 tells us "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
So there are several things that go all together with this thing we call faith. You either trust God and who he is and what he's promised and obey him, or you don't. Especially after walking away or struggling with doubt, trusting God is a daily and even moment by moment decision.
"Since we have a great high Priest who has entered heaven, let us hold firmly to what we believe." -Hebrews 4:14 (Read versus 15&16 as well.)
Do you trust God when it doesn't make any sense to? What has God told you to do that you are refusing to obey in? Where are you not trusting God? For me, I had an eye-opening moment earlier. There was a moment in today's sermon where someone said "It doesn't matter how much hurt you've been through. Don't harden your heart." That hit me like a nail driven through my heart. I did that. I hadn't even realized...
Let me give you a little something more than that. My church is currently going through a series called "Before I Die" and today was about (go figure) trusting God. There were these huge chalk boards in the courtyard that they encouraged us to write down what God was telling us to trust him with on, so that the staff could specifically pray over those things. I wrote down things that I would never want to admit to anyone. Not ever. But in faith, I put them on the boards and I'm going to tell you now. I want to dream. To have dreams...not goals, but dreams of things I want to be able to be and do before I die. I currently have absolutely nothing I want to do or to be besides God's hands and feet. I don't have a career in mind or desperately want a family or anything else. And talking with my dear roommate tonight, I realized that a large part of that comes from not trusting that God will follow through on what he promised. (And if you follow my posts at all, you probably are thinking "Doesn't she have an entire post about that?" The answer is yes. I'm far from perfect, dear reader. And I'm walking through a huge stretching/growing process that I feel is incredibly long.) But I don't want to stay there. And I'm not. As I said, it's something I haven't wanted to admit, but that has been growing in me for quite some time.
I wish I had some happy anecdote to end with today, but I don't. I'm in the process of learning how to really trust God and to learn what true faith looks like. I hope you're able to do the same.
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