How to Express Such Gratitude

My semester just came to a close...finals are done, projects turned in, and presentations given. I started reflecting on this semester, which lead to reflecting on my time here at my university so far. I noticed that across my 5 semesters here, I'm the only person I'm aware of who has never had 2 exams on the same night, never had 3 papers and 5 presentations in two days, etc. And that may not seem like a big deal. But I know (and more importantly, God knows) that I cannot handle that sort of stress. Its crazy! I look at classes I've had to retake, or taking a class over the summer, and how that has given me such favor in exam times, classes, professors, projects, combined stresses, etc. I look and all I see is God guiding me and leading me throughout all of it. And why?? Just because he loves me and through his grace has given me far more favor than I ever could deserve.

I've been looking for a way to express how incredibly glad and grateful I am...and I can't. There are not enough words, pictures, songs, or any other form of expression to show my father how much I love him. Not just because of what he's done. But what he has done for me (really for us) through his son and the other things he gives us show us how MUCH he cares and loves and really does want the best for us.

In some ways, I have a hard time posting this in light of all of the tragedies and massive numbers of deaths lately. But I refuse to not give God praise and glory for who he is and everything he does. Because regardless of the evil in this world, I have evidence of good, loving, faithful, and true HE is.

I wish each of you a very Merry Christmas. May God bless you richly.

And just in case you want a piece more to thank God for, I would encourage you to go look at nature. God is the best artist to ever be. Check out these pictures.

 Dawn 11 December 2012
That's the moon and Venus

Sunrise 13 December 2012

"Always"

Wow, it's been a little while since I've written. And for a while, that's because I was still in the same place...and I honestly had no idea how to get out of that place. I knew what I was spiritually needing to be, but not how to physically get there.
I'll be honest with you here...I still can't define a step by step process of what I physically have been doing that's been different. But my everyday walk is so different. And it's incredible.
This past weekend, I went on my college/20 something's retreat and it was called "Be Glorified." It was all about how we were created to bring God glory. I learned so much at the retreat, but it wasn't an emotional high coming down from the retreat...in fact, the retreat was almost the opposite for me. Yes it was refreshing, but it was very humbling and convicting as well. In the midst of living out this life for God's glory is the core desire to not do my will, but His. John says it this way:

"I carry out the will of him who sent me, not my own will." -John 5:30

And in Peter, it says:

"This is the will of God, that your honorable lives may speak to those who would rise against you." -1 Peter 2:15

And again in Matthew:

"Turn from your selfish ways and take up your cross and follow me." -Matthew 16:4

Honorable life. His will. His way. When I look back at my life, I want to see that it was for the glory of God. I want to be his hands, his feet, his mouth. I want to have taken the road less traveled...not so that I can say "Look at me" or anything...but just to glorify the Father. I want to look back and see that I have been sold out for God in my daily words and actions. I saw someone write this a few weeks ago, "I want to preach the gospel at all times, and only use words when necessary." What an incredible thought and prayer.

God is teaching me that in the midst of going through this refining process, there will be suffering. Not that I have a bad life, but that is promised to us. And that idea has been brought to me 50+ times from various sources, scriptural readings, teachings, etc. in the past couple of weeks. But guess what? It's a refining fire!! Fires hurt! And that's okay. You see, God is right there with us in the midst of our sufferings, trials, temptations...all of it.

I have this image burned in my mind...I see this narrow gravel path to my left with a few trees and very little grass. The wider road to my right is covered with a canopy of trees and is very shady. But I'm not called to go through the comfortable, wide path. I am called to be sanctified and take the narrower path. At the end of this path, I see God the Father waiting for me with open arms. Inside of me, I take the Holy Spirit to guide me. And running next to me is the One who has already finished this road...Jesus Christ. The one who completed it with full humility.

"Jesus didn't consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied himself. And being found in human form he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death-even death on a cross." -Philippians 2:6-8

Anyway, I am going through quite the learning process, but there is so much joy in the midst of it. I'm pursuing God with all that I am and praying for wisdom and for answers to some big prayers. I've already seen God answer in some big ways, and I am so grateful to him for his patience, grace, love, and his refining process.

"Cause all you are is all I want, always. Draw me close in your arms, Oh God. I wanna be with you." Always Hillsong