Holding on Too Tightly

I think there are things in everyone's lives that we really want. A job, a family, to be loved, etc. For me, I know that God has promised me something, and for that I am extremely grateful because its something I have dreamed of and longed for. Across the past few weeks especially, I have found myself getting extremely impatient and grumbling to God. I trust that he will do what he has promised, but then I get frustrated about the timing...which when I stepped back and examined it, is a very arrogant and almost amusing mentality-angry and frustrated with the Lord of heaven, earth, everything that was, is, or ever will be.
At Fuel (my college/20 somethings group at church) this past week, the speaker said something that has resonated with me. When it comes to God's timing, not only his timing perfect, but the things that happen until whatever God has promised are stepping stones that we need to help prepare us for what's to come.
Then at church yesterday, I heard something incredibly humbling. "Abigail, if I chose to not do what I said - caviat being that God always does what he has promised (2 Samuel 7:28, Isaiah 38:7, Hebrews 10:23, Hebrews 10:36,)...it's about my heart in the midst of this - how would you view me? How would you react? Would you be okay, or would you be crushed?"

Wow...talk about humbling. It's not about whether or not that thing will ever actually be fulfilled. It's about the fact that I've held on to that thing so tightly for so long, that I had taken hold of it and tried to make it happen instead of leaving it in God's hands and trusting him for his perfect timing. Amazing, isn't it? What I did in that moment is abandon it back to God. And in the words of one of my dearest friends, "It's not just about abandoning it to him. It's about leaving it with him and not taking it back with you." I thought I would be heavy-hearted about this. But honestly, I feel so free and joyful doing so.

"No unbelief made him waiver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised." Romans 4:20-21