How to Express Such Gratitude

My semester just came to a close...finals are done, projects turned in, and presentations given. I started reflecting on this semester, which lead to reflecting on my time here at my university so far. I noticed that across my 5 semesters here, I'm the only person I'm aware of who has never had 2 exams on the same night, never had 3 papers and 5 presentations in two days, etc. And that may not seem like a big deal. But I know (and more importantly, God knows) that I cannot handle that sort of stress. Its crazy! I look at classes I've had to retake, or taking a class over the summer, and how that has given me such favor in exam times, classes, professors, projects, combined stresses, etc. I look and all I see is God guiding me and leading me throughout all of it. And why?? Just because he loves me and through his grace has given me far more favor than I ever could deserve.

I've been looking for a way to express how incredibly glad and grateful I am...and I can't. There are not enough words, pictures, songs, or any other form of expression to show my father how much I love him. Not just because of what he's done. But what he has done for me (really for us) through his son and the other things he gives us show us how MUCH he cares and loves and really does want the best for us.

In some ways, I have a hard time posting this in light of all of the tragedies and massive numbers of deaths lately. But I refuse to not give God praise and glory for who he is and everything he does. Because regardless of the evil in this world, I have evidence of good, loving, faithful, and true HE is.

I wish each of you a very Merry Christmas. May God bless you richly.

And just in case you want a piece more to thank God for, I would encourage you to go look at nature. God is the best artist to ever be. Check out these pictures.

 Dawn 11 December 2012
That's the moon and Venus

Sunrise 13 December 2012

"Always"

Wow, it's been a little while since I've written. And for a while, that's because I was still in the same place...and I honestly had no idea how to get out of that place. I knew what I was spiritually needing to be, but not how to physically get there.
I'll be honest with you here...I still can't define a step by step process of what I physically have been doing that's been different. But my everyday walk is so different. And it's incredible.
This past weekend, I went on my college/20 something's retreat and it was called "Be Glorified." It was all about how we were created to bring God glory. I learned so much at the retreat, but it wasn't an emotional high coming down from the retreat...in fact, the retreat was almost the opposite for me. Yes it was refreshing, but it was very humbling and convicting as well. In the midst of living out this life for God's glory is the core desire to not do my will, but His. John says it this way:

"I carry out the will of him who sent me, not my own will." -John 5:30

And in Peter, it says:

"This is the will of God, that your honorable lives may speak to those who would rise against you." -1 Peter 2:15

And again in Matthew:

"Turn from your selfish ways and take up your cross and follow me." -Matthew 16:4

Honorable life. His will. His way. When I look back at my life, I want to see that it was for the glory of God. I want to be his hands, his feet, his mouth. I want to have taken the road less traveled...not so that I can say "Look at me" or anything...but just to glorify the Father. I want to look back and see that I have been sold out for God in my daily words and actions. I saw someone write this a few weeks ago, "I want to preach the gospel at all times, and only use words when necessary." What an incredible thought and prayer.

God is teaching me that in the midst of going through this refining process, there will be suffering. Not that I have a bad life, but that is promised to us. And that idea has been brought to me 50+ times from various sources, scriptural readings, teachings, etc. in the past couple of weeks. But guess what? It's a refining fire!! Fires hurt! And that's okay. You see, God is right there with us in the midst of our sufferings, trials, temptations...all of it.

I have this image burned in my mind...I see this narrow gravel path to my left with a few trees and very little grass. The wider road to my right is covered with a canopy of trees and is very shady. But I'm not called to go through the comfortable, wide path. I am called to be sanctified and take the narrower path. At the end of this path, I see God the Father waiting for me with open arms. Inside of me, I take the Holy Spirit to guide me. And running next to me is the One who has already finished this road...Jesus Christ. The one who completed it with full humility.

"Jesus didn't consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied himself. And being found in human form he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death-even death on a cross." -Philippians 2:6-8

Anyway, I am going through quite the learning process, but there is so much joy in the midst of it. I'm pursuing God with all that I am and praying for wisdom and for answers to some big prayers. I've already seen God answer in some big ways, and I am so grateful to him for his patience, grace, love, and his refining process.

"Cause all you are is all I want, always. Draw me close in your arms, Oh God. I wanna be with you." Always Hillsong

True Faith

Any of us who are Christians probably use the terms "believing in God" or "trusting God" or "having faith" on at least a semi-regular basis. But how often do we live that way? When I look at Biblical standards of what having true faith is, I don't see any person being perfect at it except Jesus. But I definitely see many other Biblical models, old and new testament.

In Daniel 3:14-20, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were about to get tossed into a furnace as a form of public execution for not bowing down to a false God. You know what they told the king who was about to have them murdered? "...We have no need to answer you in this manner. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if not, be it known to you O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up" (vs 16-18). Okay, did you catch that? They are about to burn to death and they say "My God can do anything and I believe he can do this miracle. But even if He chooses not to, I will trust Him anyway." They knew that he loved them and that his heart is good. Do we really trust that?

There's another passage in Hebrews that we commonly call refer to as describing the "heroes of faith." But Hebrews 11 also tells us exactly what faith is. "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things visible" (vs 1-3).

Psalm 37:3-4 tells us "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

So there are several things that go all together with this thing we call faith. You either trust God and who he is and what he's promised and obey him, or you don't. Especially after walking away or struggling with doubt, trusting God is a daily and even moment by moment decision.

"Since we have a great high Priest who has entered heaven, let us hold firmly to what we believe." -Hebrews 4:14 (Read versus 15&16 as well.)

Do you trust God when it doesn't make any sense to? What has God told you to do that you are refusing to obey in? Where are you not trusting God? For me, I had an eye-opening moment earlier. There was a moment in today's sermon where someone said "It doesn't matter how much hurt you've been through. Don't harden your heart." That hit me like a nail driven through my heart. I did that. I hadn't even realized...

Let me give you a little something more than that. My church is currently going through a series called "Before I Die" and today was about (go figure) trusting God. There were these huge chalk boards in the courtyard that they encouraged us to write down what God was telling us to trust him with on, so that the staff could specifically pray over those things. I wrote down things that I would never want to admit to anyone. Not ever. But in faith, I put them on the boards and I'm going to tell you now. I want to dream. To have dreams...not goals, but dreams of things I want to be able to be and do before I die. I currently have absolutely nothing I want to do or to be besides God's hands and feet. I don't have a career in mind or desperately want a family or anything else. And talking with my dear roommate tonight, I realized that a large part of that comes from not trusting that God will follow through on what he promised. (And if you follow my posts at all, you probably are thinking "Doesn't she have an entire post about that?" The answer is yes. I'm far from perfect, dear reader. And I'm walking through a huge stretching/growing process that I feel is incredibly long.) But I don't want to stay there. And I'm not. As I said, it's something I haven't wanted to admit, but that has been growing in me for quite some time.

I wish I had some happy anecdote to end with today, but I don't. I'm in the process of learning how to really trust God and to learn what true faith looks like. I hope you're able to do the same.

Re-partitioning My Hard Drive

Okay so this summer I started working at the computer tech center at my university. This analogy will be incredibly nerdy, mostly because I know that I am incredibly nerdy. If you bear with me, I think it will be worth it.
I am a Mac user. When you want to install Windows on a Mac, most of the time we go through the process  of partitioning the hard drive and allocating a certain amount of space to use both the Mac OS and Windows.

So I was at church on Sunday and one of the things that Pastor Chad was talking about was how often times we get distracted by busyness to the point that we forget our purpose. Now for any of you who have read my past blogs, you'll notice that I have made a similar observation. If you are just now reading my blog for the first time, try reading my post "Just Living Life" here. Now I don't know what your life is like. I may not know you at all. But just so you get a glimpse into my life, since the semester started 2 weeks ago, I have had less than 3 hours of "me" time. This means being at school between 06:30-06:45 and not spending a substantial amount of time at home till about 22:00 on average, and then the rest of my night is spent doing homework and sleeping.
My life has been the epitome of busyness. And as great as it has been to spend time with people and even do a lot of enjoyable things, where does that leave time for God? And the better question is, why am I trying to squeeze time for my Father into my life instead of prioritizing and arranging everything else around Him?
I cannot even begin to tell you how many times God has brought this to my attention. And I'll be decent at doing prioritizing Him for a while...and then I get back to just being busy.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." -Romans 12:2

Right now, I'm working on re-partitioning the hard drive that is my life. I don't want my life to be filled up with things and people and busyness and then try to squeeze time into my day for my heavenly Father. I want my time to be full of life. I want to spend my time around other people using it for the glory of God. I want to use my life and the opportunities presented to me to show who God really is...not some aloof being, but a dear, personal, intimate Father who loves us and wants us to know Him and have time with us.
Not only does God want and rightly deserve to have priority in our time, but also in our influence. I am a huge people person. And as much as I tend to try to put off a vibe of not caring what people think, the truth is I tend to care a great deal too much about what people think.
I'll give you an example. Today, I was on campus at our club fair working a booth for cru (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ) when I ran into someone who no longer goes to my university. I was more than shocked to see him and after seeing him, one of my best friends came over and pulled me aside. The influence this person has had on my life in the last few months is far larger than it has any right to be, and the shear surprise of seeing him upset me greatly. I literally burst into tears with the entire campus buzzing around right next to me. And while I didn't care who saw that I was crying, I was afraid to see him in case he saw...
WHY?? Why do I care so much about what he would think if I was crying? I obviously had emotion to process. But guess what? Instead of taking it straight to my Father and laying it down before him, I cried to my best friend feeling sorry for myself...

"...for you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God...." -Exodus 34:14

A god isn't just a physical idol as was often referred to in the Old Testament. A god is anything that pulls our eyes off of Jesus. Busyness, life, people, our sphere of influence. And as I've said before, none of those things on their own are bad things. Its simply what we do with them that can turn them into idols.

So I'm laying a lot of things down right now, and this is going to be a long process all the way around. Rearranging life, habits, thoughts, feelings, etc. is never an easy process. But I'm not the one doing it. I just have to allow God to work His work. (Isn't it crazy that the God of the universe created us to be able to have the will to allow Him to do things?? But that's a blog post for another time.)
I hope this has been helpful to you, or will be one day. Either way, I'm walking this journey out one moment at a time, actively pursuing God and His will.

Holding on Too Tightly

I think there are things in everyone's lives that we really want. A job, a family, to be loved, etc. For me, I know that God has promised me something, and for that I am extremely grateful because its something I have dreamed of and longed for. Across the past few weeks especially, I have found myself getting extremely impatient and grumbling to God. I trust that he will do what he has promised, but then I get frustrated about the timing...which when I stepped back and examined it, is a very arrogant and almost amusing mentality-angry and frustrated with the Lord of heaven, earth, everything that was, is, or ever will be.
At Fuel (my college/20 somethings group at church) this past week, the speaker said something that has resonated with me. When it comes to God's timing, not only his timing perfect, but the things that happen until whatever God has promised are stepping stones that we need to help prepare us for what's to come.
Then at church yesterday, I heard something incredibly humbling. "Abigail, if I chose to not do what I said - caviat being that God always does what he has promised (2 Samuel 7:28, Isaiah 38:7, Hebrews 10:23, Hebrews 10:36,)...it's about my heart in the midst of this - how would you view me? How would you react? Would you be okay, or would you be crushed?"

Wow...talk about humbling. It's not about whether or not that thing will ever actually be fulfilled. It's about the fact that I've held on to that thing so tightly for so long, that I had taken hold of it and tried to make it happen instead of leaving it in God's hands and trusting him for his perfect timing. Amazing, isn't it? What I did in that moment is abandon it back to God. And in the words of one of my dearest friends, "It's not just about abandoning it to him. It's about leaving it with him and not taking it back with you." I thought I would be heavy-hearted about this. But honestly, I feel so free and joyful doing so.

"No unbelief made him waiver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised." Romans 4:20-21

I Dreamed a Dream

The last 2 nights, I have had a recurring dream. Now, I don't know if that ever happens to you, but for me that happens rarely. And usually when it does happen, they tend to be dreams I'd rather not repeat, much less remember. I think I remember this one because I woke myself up from it. (And please, dear reader, stick with me on this one. I do have a point.)

Last night's dream pretty much picked up where the night before's had left off. I knew exactly who the antagonist was. The setting itself was a night time metropolis, though that's only for you to get an image in your mind. Although there were other people around, I very distinctly remember one character aside from myself. He was relatively tall (6'1-6'3 ish), thin, dark and gleaming eyes-almost mischievous-a snide smile, bald. I never once knew his name. But I know this. He loved to taunt me in an evil manner. Several times, I tried to move and he somehow kept me from doing so (for any of you Wheel of Time fans out there, I would call it basically being bound with Air) or from talking or any number of things (including dangling me off of skyscrapers with this air rope I seemed to be bound with). And as much I tried to stop him, I absolutely couldn't. If I ran, he always found me and taunted me again and in worse ways. This happened for hours both nights.
Finally, I hit a point of such anger, frustration, fear, and pure hatred for this man (keeping in mind that the dream itself was much worse and antagonizing than I am able to describe...), that last night I literally woke myself up from the dream just to escape. Upon awakening, I was able to discern in a very real way how Satan-like this character was.

After much contemplation this morning and throughout the day, I've realized several things...How many times in life are we trying to move and follow God's direction and will, but something literally stops us? How often do we go to share the gospel as we are commanded to do (Matthew 28:16-20), and something keeps our mouths shut? Although in my dream I was completely powerless against this man, I still had another option-to wake up. And it was a conscious effort and ridiculously difficult to do. In life, we have another choice. Call on God. Seriously. When we are under attack, it's not enough to try saving yourself or rely on yourself or even friends or family. God has already defeated Satan. God is victorious! It's a conscious decision that you have the choice to make. But honestly, why wouldn't you?

It may seem very elementary to you, or maybe you're seeing this concept for the first time, or maybe you just need the reminder. Maybe I do. But please listen to me. If you're ever facing a situation that is daunting, too difficult for you as a mere human, or are under attack, turn to our loving Father. He is there to guide us, walk with us, love us, be there for us, and rescue us.

I love you, O Lord, my strength.

² 

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,

    my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,

    my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

³ 

I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,

    and I am saved from my enemies.

The cords of death encompassed me;

     the torrents of destruction assailed me;^[a] 

the cords of Sheol entangled me;

    the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called upon the Lord;

    to my God I cried for help.

From his temple he heard my voice,

    and my cry to him reached his ears.

The Lord lives, and blessed be my rock,
    and exalted be the God of my salvation— the God who gave me vengeance
    and subdued peoples under me, who delivered me from my enemies;

For this I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations,
    and sing to your name.

 Excerpts from Psalm 18

P.S. Sorry for the funky notation on the versus. Blogger is being a pain....

When Everything Feels Lost

How do you possibly express what you think and feel watching the city you call home burn...

It's less than unfathomable. 1 week ago today, a fire broke out near my beloved city. Within days, over 32,000 people had been evacuated from the area, over 15,000 acres burned, record breaking temperatures of over 100 degrees daily scorched the city.

Now, with the fire a little over 17,000 acres and 25% contained, 346 homes destroyed, 2 confirmed dead, thousands still displaced, I sit here and ache with those I know who have lost everything physical. Things I take for granted every day. Clothing. A place to sleep. A shower.

Whoever you are and whenever you read this, I ask that you please remember to pray for those affected by the Waldo Canyon fire. As this week has progressed, I have watched one of my worst nightmares turn into a reality. I have watched places full of history become dust. I have watched everything from panic as people flee in under a minute to the extreme outpouring of generosity of those who live in the Springs. I have watched something that looks extremely apocalyptic engulf parts of the city.

As I watch something so horrific, I find small nuggets to be extremely grateful for. A home here and there spared, lives (in general) being spared, small amounts of rain, calming winds, slightly cooler temperatures. It all sounds so trivial. But I promise that in the midst of so much loss, you find the things you can to be grateful for. I know that in the midst of this, that God continues to be true and good and faithful. I don't understand the reasons for what's going on. I don't have to. But I do trust my Father. I trust him with those who have nothing left, with those who have lost loved ones. In the midst of heartache, loss, and grief, I am continually reminded not to listen to the panic that wants to rise up inside of me but to instead be still and know that He is God and He is faithful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBA7eHY022k

This link shows a time lapse from Saturday, 23 June (the day the fire started) through Thursday, 28 June for those that want to understand and see just a small glimpse of what the city has gone through. Major landmarks have been lost or threatened. The Flying W Ranch was one of the first areas in the Springs to burn to the ground. The United States Air Force Academy has been threatened by the fire and Garden of the Gods has been shut down since the fire began.

I write not so much for my own sake, though it has been a good place for me to start sorting through a myriad of emotions, but for the purpose to inform you, my reader. Please continue to pray for my city, for this state. By Tuesday of this last week, there were 6 major fires in Colorado alone, including the Waldo Canyon fire (Colorado Springs), the Flagstaff fire (extremely close to Boulder-mostly contained and no longer threatening homes), and the High Park fire (near Fort Collins-becoming more contained; largest of all of the Colorado fires). Pray for rain. But more than that please pray for God to have mercy and that our state would run to our Father in meekness and repentance. 

The Keeper of My Heart

It's been a while since I've written now. Most of that has to do with the end of a school semester and all of that.
The last week and a half has been one of the most trying I've ever experienced. Last week I was informed of several very grave situations involving people I know and love. For their sake, I won't post the details here. It was very tiring to say the least. So many things to pray about and weighing heavily on my heart...including a conversation with an acquaintance that I had answering his questions about faith. That conversation broke my heart to hear how hopeless and pointless his life is and he doesn't care.
At the end of the week, I had a conversation with the guy who was in my life at that point. He decided to end things due to the distance between us. Of course that was a rough weekend. And it's fine to have all of the emotions that go with all that was going on in my life. Then Monday morning rolled around and on my way to work, a car hit me and the accident was pretty much a hit and run. Thank God that it was minor and we were both okay and so were the vehicles for the most part.
Needless to say, Monday I hit my breaking point. I was literally leaning on God all weekend for strength. And then the accident happened. My mom sent me a song by Kari Jobe called "Steady My Heart" and it was exactly what God was speaking to me.
Thanks to my loving and gracious Father, this week has been unexplainably good. Not easy, but I can feel my Father's presence and His overwhelming love and peace. When I think about the situations that I have been struggling with over the past while, it all pales in comparison to who He is and what He's done and continues to do. I cannot praise Him enough for who He is. And people wonder how I can possibly believe something that sounds so "crazy" and "radical." As I have told them, I see God working in my life every day and my Father is so good and protective and loving.

"But as for me, I will sing about Your power. Each morning I will sing with joy about Your unfailing love. For You have been my refuge, a place of safety when I am in distress. O my Strength, to You I sing praises, for You, O God, are my refuge, the God who shows me unfailing love." -Psalm 59:16-17

Quam Magnus Deus

Quam Magnus Deus! How great is our God! I cannot thank my Father enough for who he is and how he works in my life. It absolutely astonishes me how often and how much I underestimate him. I'm watching one of my friends make a huge transition in his life. When I met him only last semester, he was a very firm atheist. But over the course of about the last month, I have watched God transform his life. He told me how God is changing him and working in him...words I honestly never expected to hear come from my friend's mouth. This same friend brought some humbling conviction to me as well. Again, not a source that I would have expected. And like God's conviction seems to always be, it was painful. It hurts to unroot something we've let grow in our lives, but the fruit in the end is always so much better.
God continues to do things, stir things in my heart in ways I honestly cannot express. I cannot begin to express my gratefulness in how he works. He places people in my life at exactly the right time. How incredible is that?? And that's only MY life. He works that way with everyone! And honestly, if God works through me half as much as he has been through these people he keeps bringing into my life, I am incredibly honored. And to anyone in my life that I haven't thanked for listening to the prompting of the Spirit and helping to guide me, THANK YOU! But most of all, thank you to my dear, heavenly Father!

Great is our Lord, and abundant in power;
his understanding is beyond measure.
-Psalm 147:5

The Struggle

I had an interesting conversation with one of my closest friends tonight...She knows where I currently stand as far as dating goes. I'm not looking to play around. Playing with hearts is more than dangerous. She told me that she fears that I'm setting my sights too high and in aiming for the future, I'm only going to get disappointed.

I get where she is coming from as an unbeliever. But I have to look to scripture. If my entire life is supposed to be a living sacrifice to God, then that definitely includes who I will eventually date. I want a man after God's heart. I've seen what this looks like. I know that it is real. And I know what a life looks like that is thoroughly pursuing God.

Lately, my church has been going through a series on relationships, and I could not agree more with what has been said. If you don't marry someone who is sold out for God, then you are probably going to miss a lot of what God is calling you to. And yes, I refuse to settle for someone who isn't sold out for God. Because I should be just as much in love with Christ. He must be both of our first priority. So when I get told that I'm setting my sights too high or that aiming for the future is going to let me down, I have to remember to go back to what God has said and what He has called me to. We are put on this earth for His purpose, glory, and praise. I don't want any aspect of my life to be do anything less than do those three things.

Oh God, teach me Your ways...

Psalm 25:4-5

Just Livin Life

Busyness, hectic, chaotic, stressful...Have you ever noticed how much these words describe our lives? Or rather how much we use these words to describe our own lives? But when I look back at the way Jesus lived when he walked the earth, I don't see those words describing his life. We are called to be like Jesus, to walk the way that he walked. But so often, we get caught up in the "every day" or the "hustle and bustle" of just going through our time on this earth. Here's what Pastor Chad from Red Rocks had to say this past Sunday:

"We are most ALIVE when we are fulfilling his purpose and will in our lives."

So, you're thinking, what's the difference between just living and actually being alive? (Some people will describe this the other way around...but it's the same concept as the difference between listening and hearing.) Pastor Chad described this as the fruits of the Spirit being perfected in us, in our very core when we are living exactly in God's will. You will never experience such joy, peace, patience, kindness, love, gentleness, or self-control as when you are right in the center of God's design for your life. I had an interesting conversation with my brother and his wife last summer about this concept. The reason for this is that we were made so that our lives would be pleasing and glorifying for God. That's why God made us. So when we live doing exactly that, we truly are alive.

But then there's also the flip-side of that too. When we are not living in this way, when we are distracted, we will not see this pattern in our lives. And let's face it, we all get distracted. That's called sin.

"For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins." Romans 3:22-25

Since I changed the focus of my life to living in a manner fully devoted to God and bringing him glory, I've definitely noticed some things. (And please hear my heart on this matter. This is not to boast in myself-for I am very much a sinner-but rather to give glory to God for his work in my life.) It seems that when I ask how someone is doing (and especially up here how school is), I will typically get a melancholy or depressed answer...even from fellow believers. This has disturbed me greatly. Then I noticed something about my life. Of course I still have my days where I'm distracted or torn down by things around me or even myself. But my answer when people ask about my life is honestly that life is good. And I don't mean that in the passing sense of "Oh good good." But I mean that my life is truly good. And it is due to the grace of God. It has nothing to do with me. You see, it goes back to what I said before; when we are living our lives as a living sacrifice for our God, then there is this overwhelming joy that flows from us into those around us.

It makes me continue to want to live my life for God. Not for my own sake, but because it glorifies our Father, and because something like joy in such a dark place is a huge testimony for his kingdom.

Waiting for Tomorrow

My Christian radio station of choice has lately put on a challenge; listen to nothing but Christian music for 30 days. Well due to my need for music during study time (when I find myself thinking WAY too much listening to Christian music), I've taken that challenge and modified it slightly. Basically I've edited my music selection. And so far, I couldn't be more thrilled. It's an interesting experiment that I recommend...and none of that is the point of this post.

Okay now to the point. KLove was playing a song called "Waiting for Tomorrow" by Mandisa. I'm not super familiar with the artist or her walk with our Savior, but that's not mine to judge anyway. What I do know is that this song discusses the difference between actively pursuing what's already been so graciously given to us and squandering it (much like the younger son in the Prodigal Son parable). And although some of the lyrics are not specifically applicable to my life (at this moment), I thought I would go ahead and share it. I could not find an original music video by her, so I attached this one since she wrote about it and loved it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ezrFxWjyZQ

I suppose the line in this song that had the most influence on me is straight from the chorus:
"I can't live my whole life wasting all the grace that I know You've given cuz You've made me for so much more than sitting on the sidelines."

God bless.
1 Peter 1:23

(No copyright infringement intended. All rights belong to Mandisa and Sparrow Records.)

The First Step

Well friends, here I am. I decided that I wanted to start a blog today. I definitely don't plan on this being widely read or incredibly eloquent, but simply a place to communicate what God is doing in my life.

I suppose the idea came from a number of places. I've recently been watching my brother start a new series of posts, and that gave me the idea to blog. And the content of this blog is meant to be a reflection of what God calls us to. Contributors include recent conversations, services I've attended, and songs I've come across. I'm currently working my way through a book by John Piper called Don't Waste Your Life. (Brief interjection. If you haven't read this book, I would highly recommend it.) So starting with this entry, I will probably post anything from poetry to articles to songs, or just thoughts about books I'm working through (including the Bible).

The service I attended last Sunday was about how we, as Christians, need to pray and act boldly as children of God. Things don't get done by us sitting around and living an ordinary life. In fact, we are called to do just the opposite of living an ordinary life...and yet we still do. Then this Thursday, I attended our college-age service where our pastor discussed pursuing the talents that God has given us for his glory. And finally last night, I was watching a sermon by John Piper about not wasting our lives.

If by now you are not seeing a trend, let me be a little more clear. The pattern that God keeps showing me is to actively pursue him (through prayer and through reading his Word), to actively see how he would have me live and who I am called to be, and to act according to his calling. And honestly, it hit me last night that if I were to die right then, what could be said of my life? Would I stand before the God of everything and tell him I had done so many things for his name? Do I have a life that shouts from every mountain top that JESUS is alive, that JESUS is coming again, and that the only thing that gives us life, hope, or a reason for being is the grace that God so very graciously bestowed upon us through the gift of his son JESUS? Or has my life been purely guided by my wants, desires, frustrations, etc.?

The point is, life is a gift from God! And if I'm not living each and every moment of it for him, then I am wasting it. So I will leave you with this. What is your number one passion? What is your current pursuit? If you don't answer God and his glory for each of those, then I exhort you to spend some time before your maker and reconsider your life. I know that I am.

God bless.
Philippians 1:19-22